Friday, February 19, 2010

Part 3 In The Series!

3) Oh, those gays!?! Like the prefect hybrid of humanity, the sweet sensibilities of a woman with the bold brashness of a man = FLAMINGLY FUNNY!


Thank you Will and Grace for bringing the fag-hag into the lime light. Before that, the most famous funny gay, other than Jim J. Bullock was Serge from Beverly Hills Cop, or as I like to call it, "What Balki Did On His Summer Vacation!" (If you didn't get the Center Square dude reference, I tossed you a perfect stranger softball)


Now it's all the rage for a hip chick to have that awesome gay friend to shop with, chat about boys with, and to get into hijinks with? I get it, gay dudes are cool cause they still give you male attention, like the same things you like, and gets off on pumping up your ego with constant praise about how you look like Doris Day or a young Judy Garland! So these truths, which are self-evident, naturally attract women to gay dudes, but where does the funny come in?


1 - THEY FUCKING TALK FUNNY! Yeah, lisps! Under the realm of accent/impresion LISPS MAKE PEOPLE TALK DIFFERENT, which as stated before, WOMEN GO GAGA FOR!


2 - THEY TELL IT HOW IT IS! Think of a sassy black women, white people love 'em, but think of a sassy black woman who goes for the jugular while wearing a brooks brothers suit and not being as intimidating as a black person... THERE YOU HAVE IT, WHITE WOMAN HILARITY KRYPTONITE! So many gay characters have been depicted as shit talkers and rabble-rousers for the sake of a laugh, mostly because women love there I DON'T GIVE A FUCK style ... so they keep getting paraded in all of these shitty sitcoms and chick flicks.


3 - THEY ARE INTEGRAL FOR THE MAKEOVER MONTAGE! Yeah you can do the hot chicks makeover montage, but nothing, NOTHING, is better than a bunch of queens armed with tweezers, Mac eye shadow, and flat irons! Oh wait I'm wrong, add a terrible 80's synth laden pop song and a girl is on cloud fuckin' 9!


A sitcom staple tomorrow, BAD DANCING...

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