Thursday, February 18, 2010

What Girls Find Funny 2


2) Accents are gold! There must of been at least 6 characters with fucking accents that got big laughs in the shitflick Valentine's Day...


Were they especially important to the plot or dynamic in any way, no, THEY JUST TALKED ENGLISH FUNNY!


A Mexican flower salesman with a thick accent told an Eastern European woman to, "LEARN ENGLISH AND COME BACK."

YOU GET IT! IT'S IRONIC CAUSE HE DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH GOOD! THAT'S WHY IT'S FUNNY!


Really? An accent is a cheap Improv parlor trick at best, when all else fails make a funny voice! It's that annoying shit that you see at "Girl Parties" when they get drunk and tell the "funny one" (normally the chubby one or the one that drives) to DO IT, DO IT, DO THE IMPRESSION of that one girl we don't like... or our old boss... or fucking Ghandi! It doesn't matter, the impression, inflection, or accent, NEVER SOUNDS GOOD!


So one can easily believe that these following scenes would steal a comedy geared toward females... Hollywood you're welcome.



A Chinese Waiter -

White Customer: I want item X.

Chinese Waiter: (thick accent) Wha? Yu whan Y?

W.C.: No, I want X.

C.W.: Yu whan Y.

W.C.: NO! I WANT X!

C.W.: ... y?

W.C.: WHERE IS YOUR GOD DAMNED NUMBER SYSTEM!?!


HUGE African Bellhop - "Going UP or DOWN" (in that low african accent baritone) throw in a big dick joke (which much to my dismay, white girls still seem to think is funny) for good measure.


A girl with a high pitch squeal gets excited about something inconsequential... so annoying... yet SNL women have paid for their grandkids college tuitions off of this one. I


Cute Canadian Actor on a comedy show... damn it Tina Fey (30 Rock) made that funny for everyone... oh yeah and that reminds me, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT CHARACTER? He went the way of the middle sister on Family Matters, sad, so sad.


But the all-time classic for most Anglo-saxons with femininity, JEWISH MOTHER IN-LAWS!!!!

In that ANNOYING accent, "OH LARRY WHEN ARE YOU GONNA MEET A NICE GIRL?"


GUT-BUSTING, SIDES-SPLITTING, ANUS-TEARING ACTION UP AND DOWN THE AISLE...


There is another speech inflection that kills the ladies, it's a group I LLLLOOOOOVVVVEEEE! I'll save them for tomorrow.

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