Bad Roommates Build Character

Much like a big nose or growing up the fat kid, I now know that bitch roommates makes you appreciative of shit! Now keep in mind when I use the word bitch I am not using it in hip-hop terms to refer to every woman, only the lowest rung of naggery and bullshittyness in womandom that brings all of you good girls down...
I have just gotten out of a bitch roommate situation recently and have lived with some pretty assholey females before.

My first experience was with a long time girlfriend that I lived with in LA. I was coming to the southland for college at USC, she was from here and told me the best place for us to live was CARSON. If you are not familiar, Carson is an hour and a half bus ride away... We broke up, not just because of that, but other things got it to the point were I was so bitter toward her I started withholding sex from her... What did she do? SHE TOLD HER MOM ON ME! How do I know this? Her mom called me and asked me, WHY ARE YOU NOT HAVING SEX WITH MY DAUGHTER!?! A LITTLE CREEPY NO?

Another girlfriend of mine made me take about 3 - 5 showers a day, not because I was a professional runner or had a large sweat gland, but because SHE DIDN'T WANT BUGS IN HER BED! WTF, I never knew I was a bug ridden slime bucket... probably because I didn't sleep in parks and hang out with the homeless, but I'm sure other bug ridden slime buckets that she dated set a bad precedence.

BUT AT LEAST I WAS HAVING SEX WITH THESE CHICKS! The most recent bitch roommate wasn't even giving me cooch, yet felt responsible to constantly email me about the DVD player being on, the bathroom window not being opened after showers, and me having sex too loud at 10am on a Sunday (well maybe she was a devout catholic and I never knew). At least if you are going to nag me, throw some cooter my way! She was the kind of bitch that would see you watching the season finale of Lost and want to talk to you about her day. A 33 year old loser who quit her good job to become a yogi, and stated that she wanted friends, not roommates... There are tons of roommates that you wouldn't necessarily call friends but pay their bills on time and don't get in your way. She was the type of old broad who would say things like, "you're 27 that's right in my dating wheel house!" yeah but ugly wasn't in my fucking wheelhouse toots.

So ladies...
1) Know who you're living with before you move in, so you know what you're getting into. If you don't have a strong enough foundation laid, the move-in will be the nail in your relationship coffin.
2) Nagging won't change anything at anytime EVER, it only makes it worse (or pushes someone to only do the bear minimum so they don't have to hear your mouth).
3) Pick your battles, and don't tell me the size of my carbon footprint is the problem in our world cause I threw a banana in the garbage and not in a bio-degradable compost heap that didn't exist until the cool neighbor down stairs made it.
4) Oh... and check that you flushed before you leave the bathroom... That's just a note in general.