Monday, November 9, 2009

Left 4 Dead 3: San Francisco

While scouring the blogishpere I found out that Valve Entertainment released these specs...


The 4 Characters

De'Quan James 25 year old black male, was bangin' a broad in the city so he took the BART in from Oakland THEN OH' SHIT, THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE JUMPED OFF!

Dat Nguyen 30 something SFPD cop and Deep Space Nine enthusiast, OFF DUTY MY ASS, THEY'RE ZOMBIE'S A COMIN'!!

Brigg Mason a 40 year old lesbian truck driver who has an affinity for melee weapons, THIS TRUCKER IS 10-8 FOR ZOMBIE 187!!!

Frank Dunderby 23 year old Berkeley sociology grad student, parents were hippies, thinks people should be more politically correct, and hates the death penalty... but all bets are off after those Zombie bastards ate HIS FAVORITE BARISTA AT PETE'S ON SHATTUCK!


The 4 Scenes (including the tag lines on the posters)

1) Organic Food Co-op "What's more organic than BRAINS!"

2) Fisherman's Warf "The Seals say, ARF ARF ARF. The Zombie's say BRAINS, BRAINS, BRAINS!

3) Golden Gate Bridge "Is this a bridge to nowhere? NOPE, It's the Bridge to BRAINS!!!"

4) The Power Exchange (gay bath house) "IT'S RAINING MEN! AND THEY EAT BRAINS!!!!"


Bonus Survival Modes

Hippie Haute "I Ashbury-HAIGHT these damn ZOMBIES!"

Sound Mind, Dead Bodies - Don't disturb the tai-chi zombies or "This little walk in the park will be anything but!"


New Specialty Zombies

Grave Raver - Decked out in clothing so baggy you better nail him with a head shot or he's just going to keep coming... plus he's probably on drugs.

Unhomed Undead - Avoid this tenderloin bum turned zombie pisses acid and shits fire... which were actually things he did before he turned into a zombie... plus he's probably on drugs.

The Queen - Pretty much the same as before except now it looks more like a dude in a prom dress... oh yeah and it's on drugs.

The Burnouts - Specific to the Haight-Ashbury and Food Co-op levels, they literally light on fire and run in all different directions... HELL YEAH THEY'RE ON FUCKIN' DRUGS!!!

1 comment: