I recently had the joy of watching some great chick flicks, and now realize it's the best way for guys to appreciate guy-dom. The first occurrence was with my friend Arian. We waited for 45 minutes for a free screening of "Failure to Launch", and followed that up with Hot Wings at Hooters, equilibrium!
In NY, it was a lovely little furburger-fest with my boy Matt. A film by the name of "Over Her Dead Body", starring Paul Rudd and Eva Longoria, tickled our pinks during the humid Saturday afternoon. This masterpiece was about a guy whose GF is killed. She later comes back to earth to haunt the new chick that he is now interested in... oh did I mention, the new chick can talk to the dead! THIS IS HIGH CONCEPT AT IT'S BEST! Rudd's new girl reads tarot cards by day and has a catering business by night, WELL DUH, SHOW ME A WOMAN THAT DOESN'T. Jason Biggs is in the role of a lifetime, playing a dude that is so in love with the seance loving chica (yup, the same one that Rudd likes) that he has been faking gay for 5 years just to be around her. In his defense I think the chick's panoch spouts gold and gives you real-time sports updates! In the end, the dead Eva Longoria sees the error of her ways and lets living dogs lie, with a beautiful moral of "the only constants in this world are death and taxes" shining through (well there ain't much in the flick about taxes, but it's a cool quote from a dead guy so I wanted to use it).
Last night I saw a great little ditty called "The Proposal" pretty much starring Betty White. Yeah Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are in it, but it's pretty much the Betty White show... HOW THE FUCK WAS THAT DIRECTOR ABLE TO PITCH A BETTY WHITE DRIVEN PIECE IN HOLLYWOOD (assuming it's not the year 1945)? I don't know, but we should give her and the guy who pitched George Clooney as Batman a special "kick in the nuts award of bravery" at every Oscars. The whole point of Poor-posal is Sandy B is a B(itch), and R squared is her push-over assistant who has to marry her. WHY YOU ASK? To keep her from being deported and for him to get a promotion, silly pants! Think "The Visitor" but written by a 12 year-old. How do I know this movie isn't meant for guys?
1) It's about a fucking cougar, and she's not just getting young dick and happy for it, she actually wants to marry the guy.
2) It has a scene where a fat Mexican stripper dances for old white ladies in a honky-tonk bar in Alaska.
3) It has another scene where an unbelievably cute dog gets picked up by a hawk and Sandy B has to catch it (BUT ULTIMATELY FALLS DOWN AND LOOKS STUPID, WAKA WAKA WAKA!)
4) The pinnacle for me was the scene where Bullucks has to do an indian dance to Lil' Jon's, "Get Low" (which I'm sure every mid-30s successful Canadian book editor knows word for word as shown here!).
It just seems to me that a lot of girls hate horror as a genre because it's so formulaic and character choices make no sense. Yet chick flicks follow the same archetypes, and seemingly stop any semblance of plot just to tell the audience a joke (or show them a stupid slapsticky aside). Plus they throw on bullshit fairy tale endings that are just as convoluted as psychopathic killers who take out a camps filled with hot half-naked co-eds! SO, If your feeling bad about your relationship and lack of career success, my advice to you... drink heavily, call your best dude-bro friends over and engage in wasting two hours of your life with a chick flick... if you're really hardcore do the entire first season of Gossip Girl with your old high school football team!
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