Don't get Blind Sided by this crap...

Thank God for white women!

In the new Sandra Bulluck movie "The Blind Side" we see yet another "heart warming" film dealing with african-americans and sports... thanks Hollywood for always comin' with new interesting ideas! If you haven't seen the the trailer yet, I'll describe this white guilt laden extravaganza! A sassy southern white woman that "just don't take no mess" sees a gargantuian black kid walking in the cold on the side of the road. So what does she do? Of course she gives him a ride... Normally that would be the conceit in a horror film, but in this case it all works out for the best. We learn in the trailer that the young black kid has... NEVER HAD A BED! Well Sassy Sandy don't like that not one bit! They ask Big Black to live with them. They get him a tutor and put him, not in honors classes (cause of course he can barely read), THEY PUT HIM ON THE FUCKING FOOTBALL TEAM. Why? You know, cause he's a big black kid and they are good at sports n' shit! But wait he's not good at reading or blocking on the o-line, WHA WHA WHA! How could this be? Big Black is also having issues with the gang bangers back home, UH-OH, what can Sassy Sandy do about that? Well she's more than just a frail figured woman with a big mouth! She struts her sassy ass down to that hood and tells the gang banger, "You threaten my son, you threaten me!" This film is based on a "true story" yet at this point in the trailer we don't see Sassy Sandy get SHOT IN THE FUCKIN FACE! She struts off to tell Big Black in football practice to look at the quarterback and play like he's protecting her, CUT TO HIM BEING THE BEST OFFENSIVE LINEMAN OF ALL TIME!!!

FUCK THIS MOVIE isn't the right thing I'm looking to say, but it's the first thing that comes to mind.

All in all, this shit is really getting old, and the fact that someone is proud of making a film that deals with numerous racial, gender, and class stereotypes with no maturity or depth (pretty much kid-gloves) is an ongoing problem in film since it's creation. Don't give a dollar to this flick, but if you want to watch good cinema with African-Americans that aren't as stereotypical go see Antwone Fisher, Soul Food, Cadence, or even the 1968 Night Of The Living Dead, all much more powerful and under-appreciated.

Hella Proud

Not to minimize how tough it must have been for Anne Frank... but shit ain't easy being a bay area sports fan living in LA... Hiding in plain sight, while keeping my mouth shut as people talk about how the Dodgers are going to run the table or how Kobe will be better than Jordan! When wearing my Giants hat cholos downtown ask if I'm a Giants fan, I frantically tell them, "No I just love gangbangin' so much I had to go out and buy the Seven Four (SF) Hoovers hat!"

In all seriousness, Seven Four hoovers are a pretty legit gang, and have a way higher slugging percentage than the Gigantes.

After seeing my Giants get reamed by the Dodgers last week, and seeing the hopes of just a playoff run kindle and dwindle all in the span of a week... I must say that a bastion of hope still glimmers. This weekend I will be at the San Francisco Saloon amongst other Northerns rooting, hoping, praying that we can sweep this series!

Throughout the entire Annie Frank book I thought to myself, ANNE BABY BAUBE, TAKE OFF THE GOD DAMNED NECKLACE THAT TELLS EVERYONE YOUR JEWISH AND LIVE YO LIFE! But she didn't, she stayed in her attic, ate her stale attic bread, and lived her scary attic life... too proud to say I AM NOT A JEW! Well... I AM A GIANTS FAN! I AM A WARRIORS FAN! I AM A PANTHER FAN... yeah that last one is a leap but the Raiders are owned by the devil and the Niners fans eat fancy cheeses during the game.

I've been scoffed at by angels fans after our world series loss and have had my car window smashed in by Dodger fans after going to a Burrito truck (dodger fans take their baseball and burritos very seriously apparently). But that doesn't stop me from singing the praises of THE FREAK, KUNG-FU PANDA, and GILROY GARLIC FRIES... the later is not a clever player nickname, but it should be!

All in all, I see where little Annie Frank (wait is Frank even a jewish name? shouldn't it be Frankenberg or Frankenstein?) was coming from and respect for her overflows in me like a topped off Anchorsteam, but I will not let the hoards win, I will root for my teams like the Mensch I am, I WILL REPRESENT THE BAY TO THE FULLEST... unless those guys who broke my window show up again, then it's all about Seven Four Hoovers.